There is a time between September 22, 2012 to January 11th, 2013 that will forever remain in my memories. It was and still is the most defining moment in my life. Looking back now over the last 12 years it doesn't seem possible how far we've all come. The changes in our family's life are defining who we are now in January 2025.
January 10th, 2012 my Dad came home for the last time after being in hospital for the last nearly 4 months. He wasn't able to speak due to the tracheotomy. His body was so tired after endless treatments and surgery.. infections that would not heal. Dad was ready to go home and be with our Mum. Dad had been placed on hospice care at Edison Manor. That home was the only one in New Castle who would be able to care for his needs. He came by ambulance. The first thing he motioned to the drive was that "he was home" .. Dad recognized where he was .. he was always coherent during the hospital stay .. always talking - we had a special language to understand his needs and wants. But, finally Dad was at home even if it wasn't his own home that he shared with Mum.
That night we all gathered at the nursing home.. Matt, Adam, Ethan, Jan & Michael... it was an evening that I will never forget. I wish that I would have stayed with him through the night. It was our final night together.. the next morning things changed drastically for the end. Dads suffering ended that morning .. I was with him at the end. The boys and Jan & Michael arrived after he died.
My life changed completely and forever as we prepared to say our final goodbyes to my Dad.. a husband (widowed in 2011), father, grandfather, uncle and dear friend of many. The last time I heard his voice was September 22, 2012 while we waited for the doctor at the hospital to give us the news. Dad knew he was dying. I told him no .. we're not going to think that .. that we would not give up. My Dad, bless him, was tired and not feeling at all well. He had called me earlier in the day telling me to come out to the house as he needed help. I found him most uncomfortable and needing medical attention. It's all a blur now, but I think I drove him to the hospital.
Tests were done and we waited for what seemed an eternity to find out what was wrong and what needed to be done for him. I remember calling my sister, Jan to let her know Dad was in emergency. It was a Saturday that day. I don't really remember where the boys were .. if they were at home or if they were with Ron. Matt was at IUP. Adam & Ethan were usually at home with me except for weekends when they were with their Dad. I think that is where they were. Ron had left in August of 2011 - right when Matt was starting his first year of college at IUP. So, most all weekends the boys spent time with their Dad, my husband Ron who lived with Grandma Bobic.
I don't know how long we waited at the hospital .. but, soon the message from the doctors was not good. Dad would be needing transported to Pittsburgh for surgery. He had a perforated ulcer in his esophagus. It was very serious surgery that required more special help that our local hospital couldn't provide.
The decision was made to get him there to Presbyterian Hospital in Pittsburgh by life flight. I think I was in shock .. Dad, too was in shock and concern. He really didn't think he was going to make it and tried to prepare me that he was dying. That was so hard to hear coming from the man I looked up to for all of my life.
I waited in the hallway while they prepared Dad for transport and of course had to first call Jan & Michael so they could meet us down at the hospital. My own brain and emotional state just had a really hard time comprehending what was happening. I had to be strong for Dad .. I couldn't allow him to feel anything but love and encouragement for this journey. Truth be told, I was more scared than I have ever been in my life. The doctors at Jameson were not very hopeful and let me know that there was a huge risk in the surgery let alone the transport via life flight. The day was actually very questionable weatherwise and we were not sure he'd survive the drive. So, it was decided the best and quickest way was via life flight.
I sat in the hallway alone and quite frankly scared. I called Ron to let him know what was going on and asked if he could drive me down to the hospital. While he wasn't very happy about it, he did agree to drive me down. My legs felt like rubber, so much emotion going through my mind. I didn't really feel safe to drive alone.
There came a sense of peace in the hallway that I can only describe as comfort from God. The time drew closer to ready for transport. My own fear and concern for Dad was overwhelming. Then, all of a sudden I felt and saw my Mum while I waited. I really couldn't hear her voice, but I felt so incredibly her presence letting me know that everything would be alright... that I had nothing to worry about. It was incredibly real.. I wanted that moment to last forever. Mum was smiling and encouraging making me feel like it was going to be okay. I know now that it was through Gods eyes that he gave me that comfort through my own Mum.
To be continued...
